Accidents and nekkidness

Nekkid mermaid

What is the most dangerous sport? Bungee jumping? Sky-diving? Downhill skiing?

Nope. It’s swimming as I can testify with my traumatic accident yesterday. OMG, what happened? Did you drown/drink half the pool/belly-flop? Nope, I fell in the changing rooms…

Know that way where you fall and it’s a full minute before you actually go OWWWW! The woman who came out the pool after me came up and goes “are you OK?” and I answered “No, my pinkie’s nipping”… my Scottish accent must have been stronger than normal because she just looks at me and goes “Oh good”…..!

I tore a huge chunk of skin off my pinkie – it was quite impressive how much blood there was. Mind you I was wet so that probably made it look more awesome. Plus I bruised my ankle. I didn’t even realise I’d hurt it till I got to the car and realised I couldn’t bend my foot and my ankle was all swollen. Good job I already have cankles as it’s not quite as noticeable, apart from the huge bruise that is. Anyway back to the nipping pinkie. Have you ever tried showering and washing you hair with one hand whilst the other is being held straight up in the air to minimise the blood loss? It’s not easy let me tell you.

So back home I shouted for daughter to come first-aid me. She’s a lifeguard – yeah, where’s the lifeguards when you need them – at the poolside obviously and not in the changing rooms! She was busy ‘studying’ for her finals… lying out the back in the sun with her bikini on… students, they have such a hard life ye ken. She takes a look at my injuries then proceeds to pour bleach over my finger till the skin starts bubbling and give me a plaster for my finger and an ice-pack for my ankle then headed back out to the hot-tub. Huh, she’d make a terrible nurse. Oh and she told me she didn’t pour bleach on my finger, she said it was hydrogen peroxide. Well I know I’m rubbish at science but I’m p-r-e-t-t-y sure thats a form of bleach.

That’s my second traumatic event in the YMCA changing rooms… the other other one happened last year when I first started going to the Y.

I’m not sure if it’s just me but I don’t like talking to naked people. I think it might be a British thing but when an 80 year old octogenarian is stark nekkid in front of you it’s a good job she’s 2 inches shorter than me so I can answer her whilst keeping my eyes level with the top of her head. She was asking me if I had seen her towel coz “some body gone and darn stole her towel!” Nope, sorry I haven’t but if you like you can borrow the one I’ve wrapped my hair in I answered her. “It’s all right hon,” she answers “I’ll just shake it off!”……..!!!!!!! A thought I can’t get out of my head a full 12 months later! Come on people, don’t be naked in changing rooms and start conversations with strangers…. you never know if they’re going to be a traumatised Brit!

As an aside I texted this story to my friend back in Scotland but she misread the text and thought I said naked orangutang and was all excited about me seeing a naked ape. When I told her that all orangutangs were naked anyway she denied this and pointed out they wear fur coats. I can’t argue with her really.

rubber ring
Who needs lifeguards…

Cars and stuff

Ask me what kind of car I have…. go on. Ask me.

What kind of car do you have Alba?

It’s blue and it sparkles in the sunshine, and yes, I totally bought it for that reason. The sparkly reason. Not the blue reason.

So that’s how much I know about cars… I don’t even know my registration number!

BUT, I did admire this one, sitting in the Walmart carpark on Sunday. People of Walmart are going up in the world.

I guess it’s Henry’s car (registration) and I can see it’s a Ford but it’s a great blue colour and has lovely curves, chassis and headlights (sorry for thieving Rover) I think I would quite like a car like this one… I might even be persuaded to memorise the licence plate!

old car
It’s Henry the Ford

A wee bit rusty round the edges

I actually joined a different Zumba class a couple of weeks ago – it was a Zumba Gold class which means less jumping but it’s still a good workout and loads of fun. I think I’m probably the youngest in the class, which although is good for my ego also makes me realise how fit and fun all these older women (and one man) are! They are having a blast, whooping at all the songs, singing, dancing, living life to the full and enjoying every minute of life. I looked at them an realised that it isn’t so bad after all this getting older lark.

Confession time…. I have a big birthday coming up at the beginning of May. What??? I hear you ask! But you sound SO young! Well I know that age is only a number and as Janis Joplin said “the older the grape, the sweeter the wine.”

Like me this car has seen better days, is a bit rusty round the edges and could do with a wee bit of TLC….

Rusty car lowres

“The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes”…. Frank Lloyd Wright

Everyone’s a critic!

piano old
My 110 year old piano moved all the way from Scotland to the USA

Apparently I’m famous on Twitter. Which is pretty cool because I don’t even have a Twitter account! But my daughter does and unbeknown to me she regularly tweets about things I do…..

Take the other day for example. She went ahead and tweeted “Just lay down in my bed for a nap when ALBA decides now would be a good time to practise her C Major scales on the piano. Now it’s Yankee Doodle and now it’s Row, row, row your boat. Alba hasn’t played piano in 30 years. What’s going on? Life sucks.”

WELL….. of course she then came downstairs to see what the heck I was doing and offer advice (her first year at college was as a music major in piano) and that’s when she told me about the Twitter fame. I appropriately rolled my eyes and told her that

a) I got the piano tuned 2 weeks ago and have been practising EVERY day since. It just so happens she hadn’t been in the house whilst said practicising has been going on.

b) The choice of toones was because I am re-learning from scratch and had dug out her old piano books from when she was 6/7 years old. She just hasn’t heard me play the Disney songs yet…

c) I didn’t even KNOW I was playing a C Major scale – I was just warming up my fingers.

d) You’re 21 years old – YOU DON’T NEED A NAP! GET A JOB!!!

music book
Love me some Disney!

Anyway I’m continuing to practise every day (mostly when she’s at college) but yesterday as I was happily tinkling away on the ivories I looked around for Dawg as he’s always at my feet and follows me from room to room and I couldn’t find him anywhere. Seems he too had had enough of my playing and had taken himself off to his cage in the corner of the room. He didn’t quite have his paws over his ears, but I’m pretty sure he was wondering how to stop the noise. Huh, everyone’s a critic!

Glenn cage
What’s that face for – don’t you like my playing piano?

Herding rabbits and show-jumping dogs

Dawg discovered how to jump fences this weekend which means all the parts of the garden (backyard) that were fenced off to prevent him from digging holes/escape tunnels/pulling out all the bushes are now fair game.  

He also discovered a nest of baby rabbits but luckily he was too stupid to realise they were chaseable and just stood wagging his tail and sniffing at them.   
 I managed to move 4 of them out of his reach and rehomed them under a bush but I’m not actually 100% certain that I didn’t keep herding the same two back all weekend as I only ever saw two at the same time! 

Anyway they were tiny and cute and I’m hoping they survived and are not lunch for some other bigger animals. Dawg is now on rabbit patrol as well as squirrel patrol. 

Love spring time but please can we have some sunshine? Enough with the Scottish weather Illinois – I already feel at home here. No need to keep raining to remind me of what I’m missing!

All about ME!

I’ve just finished Jeffrey Deaver’s latest book (Steel Kiss) and I was going to blog about The Internet of Things and Spamming Fridges and all the other ways you can be spied upon online, then WordPress tells me this is my 100th post! Woohoo…. go me!!! So I’ve decided to tell you a little bit about me as I have picked up some new followers after doing the Photo 101 course. Welcome, come on in, grab a wine/beer, some snacks and lets mingle…. said the worst mingler in the world! Small talk and me just don’t go together I’m afraid.

So Hi, how are you doing? Glad to have met you here in Blogland. Who am I, how did I get here and why have I ended up blogging I hear you ask? (humour me!)

Loch Lomond lowres
Home – Loch Lomond, Scotland

Well I’m a British ex-pat living in the Mid-West USA. I moved here in 2010 with my family from Ayrshire in Scotland and have loved every minute of our adventure here. When they closed my husband’s factory down in Scotland he got offered a transfer with his company and basically they offered him anywhere in the world they had a factory, but I don’t speak French tres bien, nor Belgian and I refused to go to India, China or Poland so the USA was the sensible choice for us. Plus my family had all lived in the USA for over 20 years so I knew what I was moving to. Funny story – a week after I got married my mum, dad and sister all moved from Scotland to the USA Mid-West, then 20 years later when we moved to the Mid-West they all moved from the Mid-West to Florida! Do you think they’re trying to tell me something? I dragged a 15 year old girl and a 13 year old boy away from all their family and friends in Scotland and my daughter declared her life was over! Son didn’t really care, as long as they have electricity to plug in his x-box he was happy…. It took about 2 days for them to settle in at school and they haven’t looked back once! Daughter is now set to graduate college in December and son is a Freshman and has the whole world in front of him! I couldn’t be prouder of both of them.

Home now – somewhere in Illinois

Anyway, back to me! I work freelance from home as a Graphic Designer, but I’m actually a wannabe photographer. That’s not true, I’m actually a wannabe spy, but it’s hard to get spying gigs in the prairies. Sometimes I manage to sell a photograph and that keeps me happy for a while. I did try my hand at portraits for a while, but so much work for very little money and so much stress was taking away the enjoyment of photography, so it’s back to a hobby for me now and I’m loving it again. Working from home leaves LOTS of time for messing around on t’internet and that’s where blogging comes in. I decided last year to try and blog about my photographs… so here I am!

Well that’s me. Pretty boring, middle-aged, music-loving, read-a-holic blogger. With a dog. What else would you like to know? If you would like to know more you can ask me questions in the comments and I’ll answer truthfully. Obviously I’m not going to tell you my bank account number or anything silly like that (BTW my bank account is VERY silly – remember I have 2 kids in college!) So go on. Ask me any question.



Things my dog has eaten: Chapter 197

Damn Dawg! Yesterday he ate my daughter’s spare glasses….


A couple of weeks ago he ate my iPhone….


Then there was the time he ate the TV Plonker (remote control for non-plonker people!)


A library book (which cost me $32 to replace!!! I didn’t even like the book – it was a book club one!!!!!)


Plus of course various dog-toys over the year….


Even the indestructible ones….


Not to mention all the dozens of socks, tissues, paper towels, paper, a tea-towel, blankets, dog-beds, towels. And don’t forget all the food he steals when counter-surfing (only when no-one is looking of course, he’s not daft!)….


Why do we keep him you ask? Well, he is smart, loveable, cuddly and the cutest dog ever. Plus of course he loves me unconditionally. What more could I ask? Well, how about not stealing stuff when I’m not around……

FullSizeRender (1)

Photo 101: Triumph


How very British of me…. to celebrate my triumphant completion of the Photo 101 course with a nice cup of tea and a choccy biscuit (or two!)

But the triumphant part comes from the fact that not only did I complete each assignment with a new photograph AND I completed it on the day it was asked for (last year I was sooo at the coo’s tail with this course) but today I have the lugry. My son was home from college this past weekend with a sore throat, chest and the sneezes and as of yesterday I also have a sore throat, chest and the sneezes. But I triumphantly soldiered on, feeling very pathetic and sorry for myself (I feel so bad I actually only ate ONE of the biscuits believe it or not! AND THEY WERE REAL CADBURY’S)

Well at least it’s not Man-Flu.